How to Develop Youth Coping Skills: Ideas to Try at Home

The expression “rollercoaster of emotions,” is popular for a reason. Every day, we go through highs and lows, and so do kids. But young people don’t always know how to talk about their feelings or handle situations that stir up strong ones. That’s where teaching kids coping skills can help.

Coping skills are practiced thoughts or habits that help us regain control of our emotions. At Boys & Girls Clubs, kids learn coping skills through programs like SMART Girls, in partnership with Dove, for managing stress and building self-confidence. As a result, most Club kids (90%) say they better understand how their feelings affect their actions and know ways to calm themselves down (71%).

Coping skills also help youth grow into capable adults or, as 10-year-old Club kid Bradleigh puts it, “so you don’t stay mad and become grumpy when you get older.”

Here are some ways Clubs are building youth coping skills during Mental Health Awareness Month and year-round. See what may work for the young person in your life!

Teaching Youth Coping Skills: Three Ideas from Boys & Girls Clubs

1. 

   Create a Cool-Down Space for Emotional Breaks

   Image courtesy of Boys & Girls Club of Fond du Lac, Wisc.

   When kids at the Boys & Girls Club of Fond du Lac want a break from stress, they head over to the “Zen Den” to pause and focus on their feelings. Each 15-minute session starts with identifying what they’re feeling. Then, they dive into a treasure trove of tools for calming down and finding balance. With fidget toys, weighted blankets, puzzles, coloring supplies and yoga mats, kids have plenty of ways to relax and reset emotionally.

   Boys & Girls Clubs of Otero County has a similar area for kids when they feel overwhelmed. Their “sensory room” includes a LEGO wall, a two-foot-tall stuffed unicorn, magnetic blocks, books, bouncing balls and more — many of which came from kid suggestions!

   By having a designated space where they can calm their emotions, kids can feel secure knowing they have somewhere to go to when everything feels too much.

Image courtesy of Boys & Girls Clubs of Hancock County, Greenfield, Ind.
2. 

   Enlist Therapy Animals for Positive Support

   Summer can be overstimulating sometimes, which is why Boys & Girls Clubs of Hancock County bring in four-legged friends for support. Through a local partnership, Club kids spend weeks with trained therapy horses, doing activities that teach skills like clear communication, social awareness and respecting boundaries.

   Image courtesy of Boys & Girls Clubs of Elkhart County, Ind.

   One lesson clicked for a 13-year-old participant while they were leading their horse: “If I was shy or nervous, then the horse would read my body language and also be nervous. If I was confident and affirmative, then the horse would understand my non-verbal cues.”

   Therapy dogs can also offer youth low-stress opportunities to improve social-emotional skills. Through interactions with Albert — a trained therapy goldendoodle and official staff member at Boys & Girls Clubs of Elkhart County — Club kids learn to speak up, listen and control impulses. Albert also motivates them to join in group activities and work together to achieve team goals.

3. 

   Talk About Feelings in Group Settings

   To help older kids feel comfortable opening up emotionally, it’s important to know they’re not alone. Being in a group can sometimes make it easier to talk about feelings and experiences. This can help young people feel understood and supported as they face their own challenges.

   To engage teen boys who newly immigrated to the U.S., Boys & Girls Clubs of the Peninsula started Spanish-speaking support groups at their high school. Many spoke about challenges with adapting to life in a new country or reconnecting with family in the U.S. after years apart.

   Having adult therapists to talk to, plus groups led by their peers, encouraged them to share and discuss ways for coping with these transitions.

   “Teens don’t always trust adults,” said Nicole, a 17-year-old who immigrated from El Salvador in eighth grade and helps run a Spanish-speaking support group through the Club. “Sometimes they’ll come to me to talk about their experiences, knowing that I’ll be able to relate on some level. I am very passionate about supporting them.”

Boys & Girls Clubs aren’t the only ones with good ideas for managing mental health. Learn what kids and teens have to say about why coping skills matter and which ones work for them.

Kids Talk Coping Skills: How I Practice Self-Care

Images courtesy of Boys & Girls Club of Fond du Lac, Wisc.

How would you spend a “mental health day?”

• “Watch my iPad, listen to music, or play hide and seek.” — Paisley, age 7
• “Have a DIY spa day at home and talk with my friend.” — Emery, age 10
• “Crocheting because it’s fun and I can spend time with myself.” — Jeannie, age 13

When you’re feeling low, what is one of the things you do to feel better?

• “I can come into the Zen Den [at my Club] and use this calming bottle to calm myself down. You shake it up and watch the glitter fall.” — Chevy, age 7
• “Write in my diary and play with my fidget toys.” — Emery, age 10
• “I like to do art projects like painting rocks and diamond art painting. It helps me relax.” — Soraya, age 13

Why is it important to talk about our emotional and mental health?

• “If we are anxious and do not tell someone, we might have an anxiety attack. If someone hurts us and we do not tell them, we might begin to grow scared.” — Greyson, age 9
• “It’s important to talk about your emotions so you don’t hold it all in and can express how you’re feeling to a trustworthy adult.” — Bri, age 12
• “If you don’t talk about your feelings, you will only focus on the bad stuff. When you do talk about it with someone, you may be able to help each other out.” — Santiago, age 13

While kids (and adults) can’t always control what happens around us, we can learn coping skills to help us react and respond.

Boys & Girls Clubs of America offers safety videos and activities that encourage kids to reflect on their feelings and communicate them effectively. Learn more and explore what may work for you as a parent or caregiver.

About The Dove Self-Esteem Project

At the core of a positive self-image is a healthy self-care routine. For more than 20 years, The Dove Self-Esteem Project has empowered young women to build self-esteem and body confidence so they can form a positive relationship with beauty. Boys & Girls Clubs of America is proud to partner with Dove on our SMART Girls program, which enhances young women’s self-esteem through health and fitness education, self-care workshops and mentoring. Learn more about how Boys & Girls Clubs teach kids coping skills and positive relationship building.

Supporting Youth Mental Health

Boys & Girls Clubs of America provides youth mentorship, mental health services and meaningful life experiences that boost youth self-esteem, build confidence and contribute to healthy mental, emotional and physical well-being. Find a Club near you or sign up for our newsletter to receive the latest resources and stories.